Warning: May be too much info for some!
I always knew I wanted to breastfeed if I could. I always thought it was funny when people asked if I was going to breastfeed because you never really know if you can or not until it happens. I told myself while I was pregnant that I wouldn't be upset if I couldn't and we would just see what would happen. Well the day came and Elizabeth had trouble latching on. While we were at the hospital we had a lactation nurse come in and she said that she was having trouble because my breasts were too large. I was always afraid of that. I have always been a size D and when I was pregnant I grew to a size E! I even had dreams while I was pregnant that I was smothering her with my boob!
Not only did the lactation nurse say that my boobs were too big but she also said that my nipples were too flat and didn't stick out far enough for Elizabeth to really latch on to. So she suggested I use a nipple shield. That was a little bit of work to keep on my breast and especially with Liz putting her hands near her mouth she would knock it off. I did that for a week and then I decided to pump exclusively. I didn't want my baby to be so frustrated trying to get her food. I try to pump every 3-5 hours or so when I can but I am not producing a whole lot of milk. Our pediatrician suggested me drinking Ovaltine which is supposed to help bring more milk in but I pump for 10-15 minutes and only get 2-2.5 ounces usually. So I have to supplement the rest with formula. We have been supplementing with formula since she was born since she wasn't getting a lot from me and to help her Bili levels go down. I'm afraid that my milk is not going to last very long and she will be strictly on formula.
I have conflicting feelings about all this. I know a lot of babies are formula fed and there is nothing wrong with them but in a way I feel like I'm doing a disservice to her by not giving her more breast milk. Then on the other hand it is so more convenient to just give her formula. Either way I know that it does not make me a bad mom and in no way do I feel guilty about it. I am doing everything I can do and the most important thing is that my little girl gets fed!
For my readers who have babies, what is your story?
BeThankful....
12 years ago
I have very large breasts also, sounds like we are about the same. I currently have and 8 mth old and am still breastfeeding. Let me tell you, it was definitely a struggle at first. I am in no way degrading anyone for not breastfeeding, but I just had it in my head that's what I wanted to do. Honestly, most of the reason was financial. That formula's expensive! Lol If I could give anyone advice about bf'ing, it would be the first 5-6 weeks can be hell. Seriously..there were countless times I cried and wanted to give up. For many reasons...namely, the PAIN, my daughter not wanting to latch on correctly, me feeling like I had a leach attached to me all the time...but I have to say I'm so glad it did work out for me. It's such a special bond that only I as a mother can fill. I will actually be sad when our time with bf'ing is done. Oh, and I think pumping 2.5 ounces in the first couple of weeks is great! They say that anywhere from .5 to 2.0 oz at a time was a good pumping session at first until the baby starts to eat a little more. I work part time and pump at work, and it takes me a good two sessions to get one feeding for my daughter.
ReplyDeleteI hope this info helps! Good luck whichever way you go....your daughter's not going to hold it against you either way!!! :)
Sorry you're struggling with this. You might check to see if there's a La Leche League nearby - they usually have free meetings - and see if they can offer some advice. I know of several friends who have gone to an LLL group when they had issues, and they found it worthwhile. You're right - formula feeding doesn't make you a bad mom :-)
ReplyDeleteI have felt the same way about breast feeding and hope to be able to when the time comes, but I do know that not everyone is able and who knows if I will be able to.
ReplyDeleteI think it's wonderful you are doing what you feel is best for your baby, and that's all that matters!
Hang in there! Whatever you decide will be fine! It's what works for you! I have trouble with my left nipple being flat and iris has a strong suck but necessarily didn't latch on the nipple so I was pretty sore! I used the nipple shield to help with the left nipple and the pain. I think I would have stopped of I didn't find something to help with the pain! But after 2 months, it's much better and no more pain except at the initial latch.
ReplyDeleteHow much is she eating? I think whatever you can give her from the breast is better for her even if it only lasts a dew weeks! She got the colostrum and that's the best!!!! The decision can only be one that you can make! It's not easy at all so good for you for trying to keep it going